Didn't want to bring it up, but I feel I must...

I'm sure everyone knows most of what is going on in the Charlie Sheen crisis. If you don't know, then you really must live under a rock or in a "Unibomber"-esque cabin in the Montana woods.

I am genuinely concerned with his well-being. I don't know him, but unlike most "Joe/Josephine" Americans I am not watching this and laughing. I'm watching only so I can understand the psychology behind it and pray he gets help. I say my prayers daily, multiple times, but I have never prayed this much for a celebrity to receive the help he dearly needs. I listen to his new publicist in the two "Torpedos of Information" videos on UStream and I want to slap him for his ethics. What type of human being dismisses the warning signs just so they can make a few dollars(ok, not just a few, he's gonna make bank and then some)? I just hope his family can get through to him, not just for him, but for his four kids. Those kids do not deserve to be without their father who seems to genuinely love them more than he loves himself. It's that love, which I'm hoping opens his eyes to what he needs to do to be healthy for them. And where the heck is Denise Richards through all of this? This is her get out of crazy town free card! Everyone used to think she was basically bat shit crazy, now she can say "do you see what I was putting up with?" If I was her I'd be on every talk show saying how she tried to stop it before it got this far and it's why they divorced. Ya know, yadda yadda yadda. More importantly, where is Martin Sheen, Emilio, and the other siblings? Can't they pull a Jamie Spears and get a conservatorship? Oh well, it leads into my next topic. Stupid people.

Stupid people are flipping everywhere. Driving slow in the fast lane backing up traffic for a mile. Stupid people have made my great day, horrible. It's so dumb how your emotions can go from super to so bad quickly. And it's the actions of others that taint something that is yours. I'm actually starting to get over it now, so I believe I'm going to go watch a movie and maybe go for a run. Got a massage and feeling kinda good physically, for the first time in a month.

Peace & Love

How Do You Wanna Leave Your Mark

I don't know what spurred this thought tonight/morning. I guess I was thinking about life and about my future, but it turned into more. Part of it was receiving my "25" campaign material from Invisible Children and I got excited about helping people and how I wished I could live a life of philanthropy.

So the major thought: How do I want to be remembered when I'm gone?

Most people would want to be remembered for being something great. Me I want to be remembered for doing something great. I don't want to be this great person, who everyone else wants to be. I want to make and impact. I enjoy helping others. There is no other joy I love more than fighting someone else's cause. It is so hard for me to stand up for myself, but I have no problem standing up for someone else.

How does this correlate into what I see in my future? I can always contribute to charities, but honestly, I really want to work for a non-profit, or start my own. But which one or for what? I'm flirting with the idea of going back to college and if I select the school closest to me, Davidson College, then I'll have to chose something other than a business major. My mom says with all my green living and eco-friendly ways, that I should chose environmental engineering. This triggered another thought.

What social culture do I belong to?

My father always said I was a hippie. Do I believe that? Well let's look at why he may have thought that and why I feel I go against it.

Reason one for his case: I wore/still wear ratty bell-bottom jeans. Sure we call them flared now, but they are bell-bottoms. And yes, that is a good reason.

Reason one for my case: I like personal hygiene. Sure I may be able to go 5 days between shaving my legs at times, but that's only in the winter and I always shave my under arms.

Reason two for his case: I wear Birkenstocks. They are comfy and come in so many different styles. My favs Arizonas and Bostons in mocha suede.

Reason two for my case: I don't enjoy living with multiple people with who I'm not related.

Reason three for his case: While I never say I am perfect in all morality, and I am but a human who is fallible. I may have partook in some drug use in my past, but why is that only indicative of hippies? Most sub-cultures have drug use.

Reason three for my case: I do not, nor have I ever driven an eco-friendly car. I like SUVs. I like power. I want my muffler to have a throaty bwah, to it. I'm a tall person, and I have two dogs over 50 lbs. Ok, so Mya is 50 lbs, but Daisy is almost 80! I would love to have a Hybrid Tahoe or Yukon, but I have a Denali. It has a 6.0 V8 and it gets less than 17 MPG. And I have to put PREMIUM in it. Sure if I could fit, I'd love a Prius type vehicle, granted the Prius just gets good MPG because it's only Hybrid up to 6MPH. The Chevy Volt would be an awesome car if I owned a house or townhouse with a garage. I feel this reason is the highest of all, because it's my last case.

I eat organic, local, and grassfed. I don't eat much red meat, or meat at all. I could live on fruit. Get my protein from soy milk and Chobani yogurt. I eat 3 big things of bananas a week, usually 3-4 bananas a day.

Maybe I am a modern day, eco hippie, non-conformist who doesn't partake in drugs. But I don't believe in free love and multiple partner marriages and families. I believe in marriage and would never have a love child with someone who wasn't singularly committed to me.

I feel I still have time to figure out who I am and where I'll make my mark.

To end in my hippie way.

Peace & Love

Haha.

Slow Month, I'm Upset with My Productivity

After reading eleven books in January, I only ready five books in February. Down almost 60 percent. I am gonna blame Miss Amanda Hocking. I re-read five of her books while I should have been reading 1984 or Water for Elephants. So, I guess I read nine books in month. On with the list/reviews:

1. Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk

After reading his books Invisible Monster and Choke, I was excited to read Lullaby. The beginning started off a confusing, but what Palahniuk book doesn't? Hellen Hover Boyle is a real estate agent who specializes in haunted homes. She sells the buyers a home with screaming babies in the walls or blood running out the shower head, waits a few weeks for the new owners to figure out the home is haunted, then helps them by offering to put the home back on the market for a loss. Thus, she gets two commissions off of it. Carl Streator is a lacky, newspaper writer who's stuck writing the crime beat. After coming upon two crime scenes with dead babies, supposedly to SIDS, Carl looks into the statistics. He also uncovers the same book of poems at the two scenes marked to the same page, a lullaby, or "culling song". I would tell you more, but I would give the story away. I love Palahniuk, and this is a really interesting topic.

2. Breathless (The Cordelia Chronicles) by Heather C. Hudak

Ah, the popular girl and the new mysterious boy. She's blonde, raised by a single mom after her fathers untimely death when she was eight, and has a rich best friend. He's tall, dark, and handsome and not like the other boys. Lia - Cordelia - Jameson is hoping to get through her senior year while working at a local bakery and being treated to little surprises by her best friend Addie. After more than a few sleepless nights, Lia is showing up at school looking ragged and unkept. Her hair is in tangles and she being looked at differently by her group of popular girlfriends. One day when Addie picked her up after a good nights sleep, Lia is looking more put together. That day, a new kid was in her first period class who leaves her

breathless. He's very mysterious, no one even knowing his name for the longest time. And she caught his eye. He comes into the bakery she works at and orders a drink, only to leave witout a word or his drink. At an end of the week party after Addie bought her a new dress for the occasion, Lia spends the entire night looking for him. At 10pm when she was going to use the driver Addie's family kept on hand and who drove Lia home from work on most nights, she's stopped short of the door by the mysterious guy. He leads her to the dance floor and she loses all track of time, missing midnight and what she learns should be her curfew. She doesn't learn his name until he shows up to her work again first thing the next morning calling her by her given name -Cordelia - and leaving a note with her only to confuse her more. As she finally gets to know him, Lia learns of a curse which is about to play out in her life, only to make senior year more interesting. Oh yeah, paranormal young- adult fiction.

3. Falling from Grace (Grace Series) by S.L. Naeole

Ah another paranormal young-adult fiction. Grace Shelley is an outcast after surviving a car crash which took her mother's life and first responders say no one should have survived. Enter summer before her senior year. Every things great between her and her only friend, next-door neighbor, Graham Hasslebeck. Only two weeks before school starts, she lets him know she's in love with him. Graham turns around tells her she's stupid for ever thinking he would love her, that he's dating the school's bitch, Erica Hamilton, and that he can no longer be her friend. First day of school, after morning her loss for the two weeks, Graham is huddled up with Erica going over their classes while Grace bumps in to - literally - into the new guy in school. He's got everyone's attention, including Erica who is out to make Grace's life a living hell. He embarrasses her by saying 'hello' rather than giving her a dirty look. In first period French, which is filled with all girls, the new boy turns up and sits beside her. His line "so we meet again" causing her to question if he was talking to her. After a beginning of school year "How was your summer" essay in French, which she didn't remember writing, another awkward greeting in second period, and Erica talking behind her in cafeteria causing her to run into new boy again getting chili all over her favorite Jack Skellington shirt, the new boy wisks her away on his motorcycle. -- This is a great little series and I rather enjoy the characters.

4. Bird Song (Grace Series) by S.L. Naeole

Second book in the Grace series.

5. Black Hole by S.L. Naeole

Third book in Grace series.

After reading the four book in the Grace series, Grace of Day, I'll finish Water for Elephants, which I did start and really liked, and maybe knock out 1984. I'm taking my time with Crazy Love, reading only when I'm feeling moved spiritually, because I need to be receptive to all of the thoughts. Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis will probably be my next completely, new book to start.

Happy reading!

Peace & Love